The Pine Hill

The Pine Hill Diner
Pine Hill, NJ
June 21, 2012

By Mandy

Menu: 10       Pricing: 6
Food: 5          Coffee: 5
Service: 11     Decor: 8
Bathrooms: 7
Overall: 7.5




“I’m sorry honey, but I’m going to have to ask you to put your purse on the seat next to you. I’m from the South and that’s bad luck.”

Not verbatim, but this is essentially what our waitress told us shortly after seating us in a comfortable corner booth (“Get comfy, act like you love each other now”). Superstition will tell us that a woman who leaves her bag on the ground will never have money in her wallet. We learn something new every day, and sometimes it happens in a diner.

A tour of the menu proved to take longer than in most diners. It hit all of the diner must-haves, had a complete coffee bar and drink section, and a full page for desserts. And desserts, as it is, is what our eyes were set on. Some ordered milkshakes (“Pick one I like too, so I can enjoy the leftovers after I make it”) and despite putting too little peppermint in the peppermint shake (“the pump wasn’t working, I didn’t want to overpower it for you, next time I’ll add more”) she was humble enough to admit her mistake. 

Luckily, to her credit, the Reese’s peanut butter shake was delightful. However, the chocolate cake (“Ah you’re a girl after mine own heart”) was unusual- unusual in the kind of way that does not leave you wanting more. It did not have a strong chocolate taste, and the icing was somewhat gelatinous. However, the cannoli was rich, as a cannoli should be, and the milk-free smoothie was equally delicious.

The coffee was not extraordinary in any way, good or bad, which is sometimes the best you can ask from a diner. The bathrooms were clean and nicely decorated, though they had a hot smell, best compared to a boardwalk bathroom. The diner itself was a throwback to the 50’s, when diners were edged with neon lights from outside. This alone had us excited for an experience that ultimately did not disappoint. Despite the odd tasting cake, it’s a diner I will certainly revisit for, if nothing else, the service alone.

The Apollo Flame

The Apollo Flame Diner
Lindenwold, NJ
June 21, 2012

By Mandy

Menu: 8      Pricing: 2
Food: 6       Coffee: 2
Service: 2    Decor: 6
Bathrooms: 5
Overall: 3.5




The Apollo Flame Diner had clearly blown out long ago, leaving embers at best.


Despite being greeted at the door by the type of waitress who seemed to hate everything about the life that led her to this job, the place looked nice, comfortable and original. The lighting was dim (perhaps to give it a fire-like feel) and the diner (like the bathroom) was clean.

The menu showed promise as well. While it covered all of the diner basics, at seemingly cheap prices, the menu also possessed a little of its own pizzazz (Oreo Sunday Belgium waffles for anyone?). There were also a number of specialty breakfast sandwiches and burgers to choose from, if you weren’t feeling waffles on this particular visit.

The pizzazz was necessary, we learned soon enough. It served as a diversion from the ridiculous subtle fees. A five dollar minimum charge per person. A three dollar sharing charge. 18% gratuity for any party they feel like charging. And then of course, the hidden fee (yes, hidden fees at a diner); a two dollar addition for the chocolate in chocolate chip pancakes, despite there being no mention of it on the menu.

Overall, there wasn’t much going on for the Apollo Flame. The food had mixed reviews. While the burgers were reportedly delectable, the waffles were typical waffles, the pancakes contained something that was neither pancake nor chocolate chip, and the three-slice order of cinnamon toast was one piece shy of its promise.

If the food could not redeem such a poor visit to the diner, then certainly the coffee was no better. The coffee tasted mostly like water when sipped, but left an all too pronounced aftertaste when swallowed. Though of course, the coffee wasn’t the only thing leaving a bad taste in our mouths after this visit.The Apollo Flame Diner? Whoever decided to liken this establishment to the mighty Greek sun god had clearly been riding out a pipe dream. I’m confident in saying it will never be a diner to sit higher than the others in South Jersey, a shining example of fine dinery.

The Collingswood

The Collingswood Diner
Collingswood, NJ
June 19, 2012

By Lauren

Menu: 5    Pricing: 5
Food: 1  Coffee: 2
Service: 3  Decor: 5
Bathrooms: 2
Overall: 3




“If you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all.”

I think the ratings speak for themselves. I am actually surprised that this diner received a 3 at all. To clarify our rating system, everything gets a 1 for existing, meaning it will not receive a rating lower than a 1. But I have nothing nice to say about this diner, and at best, it looks like an average roadside diner.

But the food was atrocious. The strawberry shortcake tasted like chemicals, and the taste lingered for hours afterward, despite our best attempts. Even mouthwash couldn’t quite get rid of the taste. The cinnamon buns tasted like stale bread, and the toast tasted like stale bread, and the eggs tasted...fine. They tasted odd at first, but just the first bite. The home fries tasted below average as well. The most basic of diner foodstuff done wrong. At least it wasn’t overly expensive, but honestly, I wouldn’t eat that food again if it was free.

The coffee was not drinkable. It was also not endless. Cheap endless coffee is somewhat of a necessity for me to at least tolerate bad coffee.

The decor was typical chrome diner. It was large, but nothing particularly interesting. The bathrooms looked like a dirty, rundown high school bathrooms, and were dim.

Service was subpar. Our waitress, while not rude, clearly hated her job, and made no attempt to make us feel welcome.
Overall, avoid this diner at all costs.

The Westmont

The Westmont Family Restaurant & Diner
Westmont, NJ
June 19, 2012

By Lauren


Menu: 4   Pricing: 4
Food: 3    Coffee: 6
Service: 3  Decor: 8
Bathrooms: 5
Overall: 4.5

The Westmont Family Restaurant & Diner is not a diner.

As a restaurant, it would probably receive a much higher rating, but we’re in the business of rating diners, and this just is not.

Why is this not a diner? The most prevalent of reasons is the lack of a dessert selection. To be fair, we came here looking for dessert. We weren’t particularly hungry for a meal at this point, but what we found was pitiable. Carrot cake and apple pie were the only solid food desserts offered. You could get pudding, jello, or ice cream as well, but this place calls itself a diner.

Besides an overwhelmingly disappointing dessert menu, this place lacked the solid spread of a diner menu. I would probably feel comfortable eating here as a restaurant, but as far as a diner goes - just no.

My first impression of this place was of poor service. The decor was solid and the place was lively, though not too busy. But our waitress seemed extremely disinterested in serving us. She sat us and walked away, came back a few minutes later to check if we were ready to order, we were not, and walked away again. She never asked for a drink order, and seemed impatient, even though the restaurant was not full. I felt unwelcome from the moment I sat down, and our party decided to leave as quickly as possible, partly because of the lack thereof desserts, and try out a different diner. The only time the waitress perked up was when we asked her to take our photograph.

The food. Well, the food was - the only thing we ordered was home fries, which was more like dinner potatoes than a breakfast side. They tasted oily and were not appetizing. Most diners pride themselves in a wide variety of desserts, mostly different kinds of pies and cheesecakes, but the Westmont Family Restaurant & (not a) Diner had a very lackluster, not to mention pricey, selection. Not to mention the waitress’s displeasure in answering our dessert questions. Pricey menu, with little variety.

Coffee! Decent. Certainly not the best coffee I’ve ever had, but for a diner offering, definitely above average, if just barely.

And the bathrooms! Pretty standard single person bathroom, clean, but overall forgettable - except that everything seemed oddly low to the ground.

Overall, the restaurant is not a diner. It is clean with a nice atmosphere, minus our waitress, and a little bit expensive. Is better served as just a restaurant.

The Merchantville

The Merchantville Diner
Merchantville, NJ
June 19, 2012

By Lauren



Menu: 6        Pricing: 8
Food: 9         Coffee: 4
Service: 7      Decor: 5
Bathrooms: 4
Overall: 6

I grew up going to this diner, so while this little hole in the wall diner might be a little more luncheonette than diner (to some), it does hold a special place in my heart. As far as atypical diners go, it does not stand on its own, and is not particularly elevated, though you do have to walk up a few steps. The diner looks like a regular storefront along Centre St. in Merchantville, so you might not notice it at first.

Pricing versus portions at the Merchantville Diner is great. As a group, this has been the best food we’ve had to date. Clearly freshly made out of quality food, and a good sized portion to fulfill your appetite. Having been to this diner many times over the years, I can’t say I’ve had a bad meal here. The selection of food is fairly average, nothing special to draw you in from far away, but if you live in the area it’s got enough variety to suit a variety of different hungers.

Unfortunately, the coffee brought the rating this diner down. Don’t get me wrong, it is drinkable, but there is definitely a bit of a bit in the aftertaste. Though, I must note that I drink my coffee black, so I’m sure that cream and sugar would make this dead average. But as it stands, it’s drinkable, but not great.

Our server was pleasant and attentive, however she did not really make too much of an impression on us. We definitely felt welcome and comfortable. Being the only party in the diner, we felt neither neglected nor hawked over. And personally, this is the way I like my diner visits to go.

The decor of the diner left a bit to be desired, but it was fairly cohesive and inoffensive. It was just forgettable. The bathrooms were a bit dim and older, but clean.

Overall, it’s a great small town, local diner. You’d come here frequently for brunch, or to catch up with an old friend. It’s certainly not along any major highway, but if you are in the area looking for a bite to eat, it’s definitely worth the stop.

The New Berlin

The New Berlin Diner
Berlin, NJ
June 12, 2012

By Sarah

Menu: 8              Pricing: 6
Food: 5               Coffee: 4
Service: 5           Decor: 7
Bathrooms: 8  
Overall Rating: 5


The New Berlin is another study in metallic and chrome finishes. It's medium sized, and is pretty typical in its neo-50's design. Overall, it was average and not really that charming. There was a lot of selection on the menu, and it had a great design. We were tickled by the "patato" chips and the plethora of choices for potato skins. Even though these guys had a lot on the menu, it was pretty inconsistent in pricing. I had a $2 piece of cake, but the appetizers could be $10. The burgers were around $6, which is pretty cheap, but full meals got up there in price. It was all over the place.

The food was as average as average gets. I couldn't really complain about my Oreo cake, but it wasn't anything special either. The burgers were typical diner burgers. The potato skins were basically marinated in cheese wiz, which was pretty gross. The coffee seemed alright until we detected a slight metallic taste to it. It was impossible to savor, because if you kept it in your mouth for more than a second you felt like you were drinking melted copper.

The service was a bit overwhelming here. Our waitress was overly gruff and a little rude, and made us pass out our own menus. Someone was checking up on us every few minutes, and we weren't sure if they were trying to be friendly or rushing us. The place closed at 10 PM (it was around 9 PM when we were there), which is unacceptable for a diner this size.

The best thing these guys have going for them are their bathrooms. They had hardwood stalls, marble sinks, and everything was very clean, despite a bit of dust here and there. The bathrooms really shouldn't be the best feature of a diner, though. I'd go back to this place as a last resort, but I'd avoid it otherwise.

The New Atco

The New Atco Diner

Atco, NJ

June 12, 2012

By Sarah

Menu: 6          Pricing: 8

Food: 8           Coffee: 8

Service: 8        Decor: 10

Bathrooms: 4

Overall Rating: 8

The New Atco is, by far, the most adorable diner I have ever been to in my life. Upon driving up to it in the pouring rain, we first thought it was a bit sketchy (some of us may have whooped in excitement). It was anything but. Lace curtains, wood paneling, family trinkets (someone likes elephants apparently), and a plate collection are all features we found endearing. It felt like your grandmother's kitchen, with only a few booths and a counter and a small dining area off to the side. They were selling local art in the front. There were homemade crafts all around (including a pot man, named Mr. Pothead, in the entrance). A solid 10 in decor for sheer adorableness. 

This is our first diner in the experiment with food that is actually quality. The sticky buns were delicious, and despite a bit of a crunchy start, the bacon was tasty. Coffee was above average, definitely better than the normal diner coffee (and it was fresh brewed!) We didn't get full meals here because they closed at 9 PM and it was 8:15 PM when we got in (usually not being open until at least 1 AM is an offense for a diner, but because it's family run and pretty small, we forgive them), but the small things we got were great. The menu was pretty small (understandably), but the pricing and food quality made up for that. The service was also great. Our waitress reminded me of someone's aunt, and she was friendly, talkative, and pleasant, not to mention cordial even though we walked in close to closing time. 

This diner's biggest fault was its bathrooms. The first sign of their quality came from the ominous squeak of the door to get into the back hallway. A tiny hall led to tiny bathrooms, where you had to turn a corner to get to the toilet. I can't quite place why it was creepy, but it felt like the kind of bathroom you go into in a horror movie to get brutally murdered. The toilet cover container was askew. The shape was odd. All of a sudden those cute features were freaky. I call it endearing terror. It kind of gave the place more personality.

The Golden Dawn

The Golden Dawn Diner
Beverly, NJ
June 7, 2012

By Sarah



Menu: 7                       Pricing: 5
Food: 6                        Coffee: 5
Service: 10                   Decor: 6      
Bathrooms: 7    
Overall Rating: 6




The Golden Dawn is so average it's almost funny. Comfy but not remarkable, it's that standby diner off the highway that you go to when you don't have any other ideas of where to go. The decor was a wash in beige and the bathrooms were clean but unremarkable (although you could wash a baby in the sinks). The menu was, predictably, typical, with the usual diner staples and a relatively bland design (we were pretty amused by the "rooster wings." Not chicken wings. Not hen wings. Rooster wings). At first we were daunted by the pricing. It's a bit above the average, but when our food came out and we saw the portions, suddenly $5 diner cheesecake didn't seem like such a strange thing. It was also pretty good food, though the lemon meringue pie was a bit overly squishy. The coffee kind of tasted like petroleum, but there were mixed reviews. The portions were really the redeeming quality.

The outstanding feature of this place was the service. If you want the kind of diner where the wait staff has worked there for 30 years (our waitress had) and knows your name, this is the place. They had the Greek guy at the door; the chain smoking, ridiculously sweet (and yet rough and gruff) waitresses; and the Latino cooks in the back. We instantly gave our waitress a 10. Yes, the service was great, but she fit the image of the stereotypical diner waitress so well we instantly knew she was a solid 10 (her one fault being that she forgot to give us her name at the beginning at the meal, mentioned it later, and still didn't give us her name).

I'd go back. It's the old standby.

The Dolphin

The Dolphin Diner

Burlington, NJ

June 7, 2012

By Sarah

Menu: 10                     Pricing: 8

Food: 5                        Coffee: 6

Service: 7                     Decor: 9         

Bathrooms: 4      

Overall Rating: 6

This is one of those diners you see off the highway and you're blinded by the amount of neon light coming off it. That's not a complaint. It's definitely the good kind of gaudy. Neon, metal, and everything water related is the theme, and we approved. Even though it was a diner on a grand scale, it still had the feeling of your typical small town Jersey establishment. Placemat ads were endearing ("get your worms!", "The Yardsale Antiques and More," "Oasis Cake Decorating"), and we loved the dolphin obsession (the handmade dolphin "chandelier" as you go into the bathroom area was a hit).

The Dolphin's menu selection is pretty extensive, hence the 10 rating. Its pricing is pretty decent, too, but we found out that there's a reason it's so reasonable. Seems like they've sacrificed quality for quantity. The crepes felt like rubbery foam, the coffee was average (watery, with a strange lack of aftertaste), and the rest of the food was subpar. Service was above average, but we felt a bit overwhelmed. The host was a bit creepy...he apparently enjoys staring menacingly at the patrons. 

Overall, it's the kind of diner you go to for the ambiance. Its decor was really its only outstanding quality. It's worth the visit, but you might not go back again.

An Introduction

            The American diner, in its timeless simplicity, is an international symbol. It’s quintessential American dining. Across the country, diners line major highways, dominate the center of small towns, and dot the corners of city blocks. But what really makes a diner…a diner? Why the mystique? Why, after years, is the diner still such a popular, symbolic part of American life?

            That’s what we would like to answer. And we’re certainly equipped to explore those questions. Growing up in New Jersey means that, as a child, the diner culture is ingrained in you. You’ve gone to diners your whole life, for Sunday brunch after church services, a long dessert with close friends after dinner, or that 3 am snack on the way home from the shore. You can name at least ten diners in your immediate area, and rely on the diner even when you’re away from home. You have a special claim, and friends or family from other parts of the country, or other parts of the world, cannot possibly know or understand what a real diner is. So you educate them.

            What qualifies a restaurant as a diner? There are a lot of fakes out there, claiming that they are diners when they’re really a) chain restaurants with an unfortunate theme or b) ordinary restaurants masquerading as diners for the sake of reputation. We New Jersyans can spot the difference pretty quickly. Here are a few signs that you’re dining in a real Jersey diner:

•     There is an L-shaped dining area, usually with a “restaurant” (with tables and booths) on one side and a “diner” (with booths and a sit down bar) on the other.
•      There is a vestibule before you walk in (more often than not with either video games, candy dispensers, or toy dispensers, or a mixture of all of them).
•      You have to walk up steps or a ramp to get in. The whole building is elevated.
•      A refrigerated desert case is in the front (with an assortment of cakes, pies, and cookies).
•      There are placemats that advertise local (and often hysterical) businesses. There might be a maze involved.
•      There’s an Italian or Greek man standing near the door who obviously owns the joint and ain’t gonna take no crap from anybody.
•      The menu is huge. It often has numbers for meals and there are at least 50 numbered meals plus appetizers, breakfast, sandwiches, desert, etc.
•     There is bottomless coffee.
•      “Hon.”
•      You pay at the door. Usually the Italian or Greek man takes your money and turns out to be a really nice guy. He knows when you’re from the area and treats you different from the guy off the highway.

             On to The Diner Experience. It’s a four person summer experiment to visit, rate, and review all of the diners within a 15 mile radius of our South Jersey hometown. The restaurants must satisfy at least three of the above requirements. We will rate the quality of each diner’s food, coffee, menu, pricing, service, and bathrooms. We will give an overall review of the experience, and we will get a picture of all four experimenters in a booth at each diner. There are 37 diners in that 15 mile radius, and we’re timing our experiment to two months. That’s a lot of diners. We're up for the challenge.